~It just seems that it's my fate to be the rebound girl. It's not like I do it willingly and most of the time I don't even know. By the time I find out, I already like the guy. ~

Recently I started talking to a new guy I met at school. We don't have any classes together, but I see him a lot around campus. I finally met him at a party and he actually gave me his number. (this is something that has never happened to me. Usually it's guys begging for my number, not being ballsy and actually giving it). So I texted him a few days later so he would have my number as well. He put a lot of effort into our texts. More than I've ever seen from a guy. He even started asking to see me again. So we met up a few times and it seemed fine. Then after "the talk" about past relationships, I found out that he just broke up with his last girlfriend a month ago.
Actually, they just stopped talking and never actually said "it's over." But, after a month, you kind of just assume.
That's what he said anyway.

So, I tried not to take it the wrong way since he was the one texting me more often and inviting me out. After about 2ish weeks of this, we kissed. It was pretty heated and after he walked me back to my dorm.

We still text daily, but I feel like his texts are getting shorter and less frequent. I know we both have been putting off our work for each other and he tells me he is working really hard to catch up. But, I still feel neglected. He tells me it would be nice if I came over, then when I offer to, he tells me he's too swamped with homework. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if he is just really busy.

All the time I'm wondering/fearing that he just wanted me to make him feel better and that now he's just slowly getting rid of me. My guy friends say that guys just don't talk as much as girls and I should just feel lucky that he responds at all because that means he's still interested. But, I have such a bad history with guys using me for a moment and then throwing me away. It's making me paranoid and I'm having trouble trusting/believing that anyone genuinely likes me. I have been trying more lately to be flirtatious and attentive so he knows I'm not uneasy after our kiss...........i don't know.


I just wish I DID know. Is it okay to let him know that I feel like he's avoiding me? Would that just push him away more? Could he really just be busy or not a big talker?


I'm one of those stupid girls right now who hopes her phone will ring.

as said by men.
Seriously, I didn't say this! :o
I've talked to many level headed guys and of course not so level headed, bias girls. They all seem to have the same idea about men: no matter what, one thing will never change about men! (Well.....actually one day it will, obviously because like...... MARRIAGE, but even then sometimes it doesn't end.) anyways
So let me stop confusing you and explain myself.
We broke up.
No one was dumped because it wasn't even an option. I found out he was cheating and never intended to let either of us know (me and that sorry excuse for a girl). We were going have sex for the first time (with each other) that very week when I just HAPPENED to find a pic of him kissing her (it's scary to think what would have happened if I didn't find that pic). I shot off a rocket of questions and received the most half-assed answers. Where had my sweet, eloquent boyfriend gone?!?!?! We just stopped talking after that and with her around, there is no need for me. It's not that I feel I was left, it's just......well when you have 2 and one starts to have problems.......there's always another one. I'm no fool, I know the logic of the game.
The thing about it is, it's the 3rd or 4th time this has happened to me. Actually, I'm always unknowingly the "other woman." ..........always. -___-
I'm not tooting my own horn, but I'm always the more attractive of the two. I'm the more intelligent of the two. I'm the BETTER of the two. I know I'm a catch. Do you wanna know how I know? I made myself that way. For 18 years I've been in training to be perfect (not in a poser way, just like physically attractive and skilled in various forms. everything else is pure personality) So, it's like I somehow, unpurposefully, lure guys away from the girl that got their first. BUT, they want to try to be sly and have both. no no no no, I don't play that game.
Why!? Why do you need 2(or more)? If the first one isn't good enough not to cheat on, just leave and try with the second one!

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As great as I'm TOLD I am (and I'm told that I'm secretly fantasized about haha), I feel super unwanted lately.  I know HE was wrong, but I feel like it's all my fault. If i was prettier, if I was smarter, if I was more fun.......he wouldn't have done it. (but then none of that makes sense cause the other girl is not at all easy on the eyes AND a druggie). I feel like if guys hurt me, leave me, whatever, it's all because I wasn't good enough to keep their full attention. I wasn't good enough to be the only girl they want.
My brother says that it's because he is young and guys are stupid like that when they're young. (even though he's almost 23. i mean still young, but old enough to know better). My friend said it's 'cause I go for the wrong guys...(umm what? the kind that are attractive, smart, well-rounded, and then months later reveal that they"re assholes?) yep, i sure have my standards ALL wrong.

SO (more to the point)
I talked to some guys to try to get the male perspective and these are the answers I got.
"You could be the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and he still would have done the same thing."
"Yea. we don't know why we do it either. One is obviously better, but we just........yea"
"Guys have feelings and stuff, but we can't fight the physical."

and here are some quotes from my past various guys:
"You see! you see how much of a bitch she is to me! I can't understand why I like her instead of you."
"I don't understand why I'm feeling this way, but I just love her too."
"I like you both and your personality is way more fun and you're beautiful, I just can't break up with her."
"I don't trust myself. You're great, but I know I'm going to cheat on you"

Just like you, I'm kind of wondering where the question is. I guess there isn't one. BUT, there is one thing I've been wondering a lot.

Guys, young and old, do you regret it? When you're thrown back into the single life (or just having hard times with your current bitch lol) and you remember that one really good girl you had and messed up with, do you regret letting her pass you by? Do you ever wish for one more chance?
Cause, ummm seriously. Even famous women get cheated on by not so famous guys. You would think they would be feeling pretty fortunate and not fuck it up, but they still do it anyway =/

Him and that girl, I don't see how they could last (especially with him being so willing to cheat on her). I'm just wondering, when he looks back on it. Will he regret betraying me and letting me get away? I hope he will, because I regret it too.

That is the common equation in most girls heads. That's not even an equation, more like some mathematical law. (i hate math). If a guy doesn't call you, it must means he doesn't care. If he says he likes you, well now you have to think....."how much?!?! Is it just a friendship like or is he saying he wants me to be his girlfriend?"
If he gives you a compliment, you can't even accept it whole-heatedly because he must be trying to get you to do something for him.......something. If he holds your hand, great, BUT if he doesn't lace fingers?! If he breaks your record of 2month straight everyday texting, it's him trying to say he wants to break up with you. That must be what it means. must be!

Well, I'm here to set us straight! (because i need to be set straight too)
I'm not trying to defend all guys out there because some of you really are assholes and/or are trying to ignore a perfectly suitable girl. So, this is to help identify which is which....maybe

SO!
IF's list

• If he says RIGHT AWAY that none of the girls before compare to you - he's blowing smoke up your ass and says that to all the girls. That early on, what does he know about you? BUT, he probably thinks he means it, so just pretend to feel touched and wait til he says it again later
  
• If he says LATER ON (like months) that none of the girls compare to you - this time he means it. Be appreciative and don't bitch. gosh!
  
• If he says he likes you - He does. He's saying he finds you attractive and wants to spend more of his time with you. Don't over think it, but don't belittle it either. Take it for what it is, and you'll be a whole lot happier. 
• If he says he likes you, then leaves you for another girl (who isn't better then you) - His dick does the thinking. Just move on.
• If he says he likes you WHILE he's with another girl - he doesn't like or respect you enough. Leave that shit alone, at least until you aren't the "other woman"
  
• If he says you're sexy - He has imagined what you look like without your clothes....if he doesn't already know. You make him think about sex.
  
• If he says he's gonna call you at a certain time and then doesn't - He probably just forgot or fell asleep (this is what my guy does. He's such a light weight and can't stay up late). He's not saying anything by it, not on purpose. He just honestly has a CBDD (Call Back Deficit Disorder)
  
• If he says he's gonna "call you RIGHT back" and then doesn't- He was just trying to get off the phone with you and doesn't intend to call back..........ever

But, Note to you, it's better not to expect call back in the first place. If he says he's going to call or call back. It's better just to not believe it. 0 disappointment.

• If his texts and emails are always shorter than yours - He's a guy, you're a girl. Girls were made to be verbal and social, guys weren't. It's science, get over it.  
• If you ask him question about himself and he doesn't ask the same questions - He just doens't know he's supposed to. It doesn't mean he's not interested in you. But, whatever your favourite color is isn't the first thing on his mind.
  

Okay i can have what if's up here until the cows come home, but the point is. CHANCES ARE, every thing your guy does you are analyzing and trying to find an underlying cause or meaning. There isn't one. You're gonna have to simplify your mind for a second or two and realize he's a guy. To put it insultingly (to guys), Girls dumb yourself down for two seconds and stop analyzing. Be a guy!
Also, stop running to your best friends about what they think. If the friends aren't guys, they're worthless.

*This is all very general. Every guy is different. But, most girls will think things to DEATH and will usually turn out to be false. So, stop it. It's not what you think!*