Well it's only been a few months since
"he left me" I put in quotes since it's more like he cheated, I caught him and he stayed with the other girl who STILL knows nothing about me I'm sure.
I was really in love with him and spent a long time wondering what I could have done differently, but I don't think there was anything I could have done.
I loved him the best I could.So, I feel like I'm finally open to try again. I'm not looking, but I'm not in that same "reject anything that comes along" mood. Even so, I think about him
everyday. Out of these 4 months, I think 2days went by without a thought of him. I deleted all his text messages and emails. Got rid of his myspace and facebook. I did my best to delete all of our pictures and all of my pictures of him. I still have 2 or 3. I've started to delete them a hundred times, but I don't want to forget his face. I feel like if I delete those pictures, I will lose something. I think I have one picture of every ex (the ones that lasted more than half a year).
Is that creepy? I just don't want to forget. I know many people just use their yearbooks and stuff for that, but I'm always so much younger than my significant others that there is no way we'd ever be in the same school at the same time.
Now, I'm listening to that Demi Lovato song. I feel much too old to be liking her, but
the lyrics are getting to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HulFsv72h3Y
So, I'm wondering if he has forgotten all about me. It's the first time I even cared. Does anyone do that? Even years later, I can remember every ex and every hook-up. Sometimes, I can't remember their names (parties and what not) but I can recall the memory. I know that most of them remember me. One of them I saved from suicide, another is still a good friend and one was a coworker.
I don't want to be forgotten just as much as i don't want to forget. I know he has her, so he wouldn't think about me often, but I hope he at least remembers me.I feel so corny, but I no joke wanted us to last forever. If I never met anyone else after him, I would have been satisfied. (except for the whole cheating thing which ruined it) I put a lot of energy into our relationship and gave him things I can never get back. I'm upset at the thought that he can throw it all away just like he threw me away.
Do you remember all of your exs or even just hook-ups?I think even when I do get married, I will think back on all the memories that I've made.
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