Monday, 26 January 2009

• All men are the same (my question to men)

  as said by men.
  Seriously, I didn't say this! :o
  I've talked to many level headed guys and of course not so level headed, bias girls. They all seem to have the same idea about men: no matter what, one thing will never change about men! (Well.....actually one day it will, obviously because like...... MARRIAGE, but even then sometimes it doesn't end.) anyways
  So let me stop confusing you and explain myself.
  We broke up.
  No one was dumped because it wasn't even an option. I found out he was cheating and never intended to let either of us know (me and that sorry excuse for a girl). We were going have sex for the first time (with each other) that very week when I just HAPPENED to find a pic of him kissing her (it's scary to think what would have happened if I didn't find that pic). I shot off a rocket of questions and received the most half-assed answers. Where had my sweet, eloquent boyfriend gone?!?!?! We just stopped talking after that and with her around, there is no need for me. It's not that I feel I was left, it's just......well when you have 2 and one starts to have problems.......there's always another one. I'm no fool, I know the logic of the game.
  The thing about it is, it's the 3rd or 4th time this has happened to me. Actually, I'm always unknowingly the "other woman." ..........always. -___-
  I'm not tooting my own horn, but I'm always the more attractive of the two. I'm the more intelligent of the two. I'm the BETTER of the two. I know I'm a catch. Do you wanna know how I know? I made myself that way. For 18 years I've been in training to be perfect (not in a poser way, just like physically attractive and skilled in various forms. everything else is pure personality) So, it's like I somehow, unpurposefully, lure guys away from the girl that got their first. BUT, they want to try to be sly and have both. no no no no, I don't play that game.
  Why!? Why do you need 2(or more)? If the first one isn't good enough not to cheat on, just leave and try with the second one!
  

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  As great as I'm TOLD I am (and I'm told that I'm secretly fantasized about haha), I feel super unwanted lately.  I know HE was wrong, but I feel like it's all my fault. If i was prettier, if I was smarter, if I was more fun.......he wouldn't have done it. (but then none of that makes sense cause the other girl is not at all easy on the eyes AND a druggie). I feel like if guys hurt me, leave me, whatever, it's all because I wasn't good enough to keep their full attention. I wasn't good enough to be the only girl they want.
  My brother says that it's because he is young and guys are stupid like that when they're young. (even though he's almost 23. i mean still young, but old enough to know better). My friend said it's 'cause I go for the wrong guys...(umm what? the kind that are attractive, smart, well-rounded, and then months later reveal that they"re assholes?) yep, i sure have my standards ALL wrong.
  
  SO (more to the point)
  I talked to some guys to try to get the male perspective and these are the answers I got.
  "You could be the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and he still would have done the same thing."
  "Yea. we don't know why we do it either. One is obviously better, but we just........yea"
  "Guys have feelings and stuff, but we can't fight the physical."
  
  and here are some quotes from my past various guys:
  "You see! you see how much of a bitch she is to me! I can't understand why I like her instead of you."
  "I don't understand why I'm feeling this way, but I just love her too."
  "I like you both and your personality is way more fun and you're beautiful, I just can't break up with her."
  "I don't trust myself. You're great, but I know I'm going to cheat on you"
  
  Just like you, I'm kind of wondering where the question is. I guess there isn't one. BUT, there is one thing I've been wondering a lot.
  
  Guys, young and old, do you regret it? When you're thrown back into the single life (or just having hard times with your current bitch lol) and you remember that one really good girl you had and messed up with, do you regret letting her pass you by? Do you ever wish for one more chance?
  Cause, ummm seriously. Even famous women get cheated on by not so famous guys. You would think they would be feeling pretty fortunate and not fuck it up, but they still do it anyway =/
  
  Him and that girl, I don't see how they could last (especially with him being so willing to cheat on her). I'm just wondering, when he looks back on it. Will he regret betraying me and letting me get away? I hope he will, because I regret it too.
  
  

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